Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Stream of Consciousness

I haven't posted in a while.  I am discouraged, I am frustrated, I am confused.  I started this blog as a site where the husband and I could blog together.  The husband has not blogged yet.  I feel like I should delete this site and just blog over at Grand Ideas, but I kind of like this site being separate and I still hope Daniel will want to write eventually.  I could still absorb this back into my other blog and let him guest post whenever he wants.  What to do?  I know.  Show you a picture of me and the husband...

...with a gondolier no less.  There that made me feel better.

Let's see...what's new on the healthy living front.  I can tell you that I have started talking to a counselor who works a lot with eating disorder patients.  She is a great resource to talk and I feel like I will learn a lot.  I have only seen her twice, so I will let you know how it goes.  She is also well versed in intuitive eating and I very much like that philosophy.  It feels like a permanent fix, not a temporary one.  I am currently frustrated though since it is a much slower process than a crash diet.  There are no quick results, there is a lot of self reflection, a lot of thought, and a lot of loving yourself as you are.  It is especially frustrating when you are menstrual, bloated and not so much feeling great with the self love thing because you are too consumed with feeling as big as a house.  It makes it even harder.  I know I sound like this...

I am having that kind of day.  There has been lots of stress at work, I am working on an upgrade and issues are making us have to push the deadline.  I really wanted to get this project done and behind me, on time.  But it isn't happening that way.  I was stressing about it last night and this morning and then I got in my car and it wouldn't start.  Dead battery.  I wanted to scream, but I didn't.  I laughed instead.  That's a good thing right?