Monday, December 23, 2013

The Holidays

Have you noticed that there's lots of food involved in the holidays?  Silly question.  You are alive, I know you have noticed.  If you haven't, just google holiday recipes and you'll see.


It makes sense, I mean you want to get together with your family and friends, so what do you do?  You invite them over for lunch or dinner.  If you're hosting a party you serve snacks, right?  Me too.

There's just so much all the time.  Do you ever feel like you are drowning in recipes and food?  I do.  Take for example Thanksgiving.  We had 8 people at the table for Thanksgiving.  We made turkey, gravy, stuffing, mashed potatoes, butternut squash casserole, corn pudding, green bean casserole, and rolls.  That's a lot of food!

Yesterday we had some family over for lunch and kept it simple.  Pork tender, roasted cauliflower and broccoli, stuffed artichoke casserole, and french bread.  Done.  We still had tons of leftovers!

One thing I am learning on this journey is that downsizing the menus helps tremendously!!  Think about it.  At Thanksgiving even with small portions my plate was overflowing with food!  And I even skipped one of the dishes.  Yesterday I loaded up on roasted veggies and had average size servings of everything else.  I think I did pretty well and I was full and satisfied.

I also caught myself doing something totally crazy for me the other day.  I didn't eat just because it was meal time!  I wasn't hungry.  I didn't eat.  It was wild!

I am starting to like this trusting listening to my body to tell me what to do.  I could get used to this.  Don't get me wrong.  I am not perfect, I am far from it.  But I am learning to make peace with food, with myself, and I am learning.

I like progress.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Struggle and Strength

As you probably guessed if you saw yesterday's Stream of Consciousness post, I am struggling.  I was thinking about everything last night as I was eating Chinese food.  Do I feel guilty for ordering Chinese food?  No, those spring rolls were delicious.  Did I stop eating when I was full?  Yes.  Did I get over stuffed?  No.  I even stopped eating the fried rice because it was not satisfying me.  It is not what I wanted then.

I do feel like I am learning.  I know I need to slow down and be patient.  Deep breath, Emily, deep breath.

I was web browsing early this morning, randomly.  I entered a search for inspirational quotes.  Do you ever do this?  Anyway, I saw this one and you know what, it got me to appreciate my struggle.


Here's hoping I can be patient enough to get to the strength.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Stream of Consciousness

I haven't posted in a while.  I am discouraged, I am frustrated, I am confused.  I started this blog as a site where the husband and I could blog together.  The husband has not blogged yet.  I feel like I should delete this site and just blog over at Grand Ideas, but I kind of like this site being separate and I still hope Daniel will want to write eventually.  I could still absorb this back into my other blog and let him guest post whenever he wants.  What to do?  I know.  Show you a picture of me and the husband...

...with a gondolier no less.  There that made me feel better.

Let's see...what's new on the healthy living front.  I can tell you that I have started talking to a counselor who works a lot with eating disorder patients.  She is a great resource to talk and I feel like I will learn a lot.  I have only seen her twice, so I will let you know how it goes.  She is also well versed in intuitive eating and I very much like that philosophy.  It feels like a permanent fix, not a temporary one.  I am currently frustrated though since it is a much slower process than a crash diet.  There are no quick results, there is a lot of self reflection, a lot of thought, and a lot of loving yourself as you are.  It is especially frustrating when you are menstrual, bloated and not so much feeling great with the self love thing because you are too consumed with feeling as big as a house.  It makes it even harder.  I know I sound like this...

I am having that kind of day.  There has been lots of stress at work, I am working on an upgrade and issues are making us have to push the deadline.  I really wanted to get this project done and behind me, on time.  But it isn't happening that way.  I was stressing about it last night and this morning and then I got in my car and it wouldn't start.  Dead battery.  I wanted to scream, but I didn't.  I laughed instead.  That's a good thing right?